I tend to enjoy studying human behavior, and being introspective try to apply what I learn to my own life. I believe that we all have a darker, more sinister self that lies just below the surface. For some, this dark child has forced its way to the front, but for the rest of us it smolders inside waiting.
So many people seem to try very hard to hide this aspect of themselves. Often trying to convince others that they themselves only dance in the light, rejecting the negative completely. This behavior transcends gender, race and religion. The face we show the world outside of ourselves isn’t a true representation, however. It is my belief that we are all in danger of being enslaved by this “dark child” unless we make steps to accept it.
How many times in your life have you felt that almost uncontrollable urge to do something you knew was wrong? Probably on a daily basis I would imagine. How many times have you wanted to beat someone that had wronged you, possibly fantasizing about killing them? Or thought about following your crush, stalking them at their place of work or home? Maybe you have thought about restraining someone for sexual gratification, or being restrained yourself for the same purpose. Thoughts of torturing someone for revenge. These are things that as we think of them, it may make us uncomfortable. We have been taught from childhood that humanity in general must have some moral code. We must live by it or anarchy surely will ensue.
It is my contention that as a people, regardless of race, gender or religion we must face this frightening aspect of ourselves. If we don’t learn to embrace our dark self I believe we are in danger of losing control to it. How does that saying go, “Without the shadow how can we see the light?” Never more true than now. However you view that part of yourself, you need to realize that it IS part of you. You will never eradicate it. I have learned to make friends with my little monster. I highly encourage you to do the same. I do not suggest that I give in to my base instincts, but I do feed that part of me. It is hungry and clamors for sustenance, and I must heed. By writing, reading other’s writing and listening to music I am able to keep it at bay. I have learned to create a balance in my life between the dark and light. We each have a junior serial killer that lives inside us, it’s up to each of us to learn to make friends with him/her. I have, and it’s made a real difference in my life. Learn to forgive yourself for your ugliness, and it will help you keep walking in the light.